रात्र सदतिसावी : अब्रूचे धिंडवडे

Thirty-seventh Night: Our Honor Paraded in Shame

श्यामने आरंभ केला.

Shyam began.

शेवटी आमच्यावर मारवाड्याने फिर्याद करण्याचे ठरविले. कोर्टात फिर्याद दाखल झाली. व्याज व मुद्दल मिळून चार हजारांची त्याने फिर्याद दिली. दावा सुरू झाला. कोर्टात सावकाराचे देणे योग्य ठरले व सारी होती नव्हती ती मिळकत जप्त करून तिचा लिलाव व्हावा, असा निकाल देण्यात आला.

In the end the Marwari moneylender decided to file a suit against us. The case was lodged in court. He claimed four thousand rupees in all, principal and interest together. The suit proceeded, and the court ruled the moneylender's claim valid — the verdict ordered that whatever property we had, such as it was, be seized and sold at auction.

त्या दिवशी गावात दवंडी पिटली जाणार होती! आईला दोन दिवस एक घासही गेला नाही. डोळ्याला डोळा लागला नाही. "आई जगदंबे! शेवटी या डोळ्यांदेखत अब्रूचे धिंडवडे होणार ना? या कानांनी ती दुष्ट दवंडी ऐकावयाची! माझे प्राण ने ना ग आई! नको हा जीव!" अशी ती प्रार्थना करीत होती.

That day the town crier was to go through the village with his drum, proclaiming it! For two days not a morsel had passed Mother's lips; her eyes had not closed in sleep. "Mother Jagadamba! So in the end, before these very eyes, our honor is to be paraded in disgrace? These ears are to hear that cruel proclamation! Take my life away, Mother! I want this life no more!" — such was the prayer she kept making.

पुरुषोत्तम शाळेत गेला होता. घरी आईला खूप ताप भरून आला व ती अंथरुणावर पडली. ती तळमळत होती व रडत होती.

Purushottam had gone to school. At home, Mother's fever rose high and she took to her bed. She lay there tossing in anguish and weeping.

सकाळी नऊ वाजायची वेळ होती. महार ढोलके घेऊन गावात दवंडी देत होता. तो ठिकठिकाणी उभा राहून "आज भाऊराव यांच्या घराची दुपारी जप्ती होणार आहे," वगैरे ओरडत सांगे व ढोलके वाजवी. दुसऱ्याच्या मानहानीत आनंद मानणारे काही जीव असतात. त्यांना आनंद होत होता. खानदानीच्या घरंदाज लोकांस वाईट वाटत होते.

It was around nine in the morning. The Mahar was going through the village with his little drum, proclaiming the notice. He would stand at each spot and call out, "Today, at noon, Bhaurao's house is to be seized," and so on, beating his drum as he cried it. There are some souls who take pleasure in another's disgrace, and they were pleased; the well-bred, respectable folk of the village felt sorry.

महार दवंडी देत चालला होता. शाळेजवळ येऊन त्याने ढोलके वाजविले. सारी मुले ऐकू लागली. त्याने दवंडी दिली व पुढे गेला. माझ्या भावाला मुले चिडवू लागली. पोरे त्या दवंडीची नक्कल करीत व माझ्या भावाच्या पाठीस लागत.

The Mahar went on proclaiming as he walked. Coming near the school, he beat his drum. All the children began to listen. He cried out the notice and moved on. The boys began teasing my brother; they mimicked that proclamation and would not leave him alone.

"पुर्षाच्या घराची जप्ती होणार, ढुमढुमढुम!" असे ती म्हणत व पुरुषोत्तम रडू लागे. त्याच्या डोळ्यांतून अश्रू येऊ लागले. तो मास्तरांजवळ गेला व म्हणाला, "मी घरी जाऊ का?"

"Pursha's house is to be seized, dhum-dhum-dhum!" they would chant, and Purushottam would begin to cry. Tears started from his eyes. He went up to the teacher and said, "May I go home?"

मास्तर म्हणाले, "कोठे चाललास? बस खाली! अर्ध्या तासाने शाळाच सुटेल." मास्तरांना त्या लहान भावाच्या हृदयातील कालवाकालव समजली का नाही?

The teacher said, "Where do you think you're going? Sit down! School will let out in half an hour anyway." Did the teacher understand or not the churning going on inside that little boy's heart?

दहा वाजले. शाळा सुटली. लांडग्यांनी कोकराची दशा करावी तशी माझ्या भावाची इतर मुलांनी केली. मुले त्याच्या "ढुमढुमढुम" करीत पाठीस लागली. तो रडत रडत घरी आला व एकदम आईला बिलगला.

Ten o'clock struck, and school let out. The other boys set upon my brother the way wolves fall upon a lamb. The children chased after him crying "dhum-dhum-dhum," and would not leave him be. Weeping and weeping, he came home and flung himself straight into Mother's arms.

"आई! सारी मुले मला चिडवतात! का ग असे? म्हणतात, "तुझ्या घराची जप्ती होणार. शेणाचे दिवे लागणार." आई! सारी का ग माझ्या पाठीस लागतात? आपणांस येथून बाहेर काढणार का ग? आई! काय ग झाले?" असे आईला विचारू लागला.

"Aai! All the boys are teasing me! Why, Aai? They say, 'Your house is going to be seized. You'll be lighting lamps with cow-dung.' Aai! Why does everyone go after me like this? Are they going to throw us out of here? Aai! What has happened?" he kept asking her.

"बाळ! देवाची मर्जी; मी तरी काय सांगू तुला?" असे म्हणून पडल्यापडल्याच या पोटच्या गोळ्याला पोटाशी घेऊन आई शतधारांनी त्याला स्नान घालू लागली. मायलेकरे शोकसागरात बुडून गेली होती. शेवटी आई त्याला म्हणाली, "जा बाळ; हातपाय धू; आज राधाताईकडे जेवायला जा. इंदूने तुला बोलावले आहे."

"Child! It is God's will; what more can I tell you?" she said, and drawing this child of her own body close to her breast even as she lay there, she began to bathe him in a hundred streams of tears. Mother and son were sunk together in an ocean of sorrow. At last Mother said to him, "Go now, child; wash your hands and feet. Go eat at Radhatai's today. Indu has invited you."

लहान भाऊ, त्याला काय समजणार? तो शेजारी जेवायला निघून गेला.

What could the little boy understand? He went off next door to eat.

त्या दिवशी वडील जेवले नाहीत. त्यांनी स्नान केले. देवाची पूजा केली. लाज वाटत होती, तरी देवळात गेले. खाली मान घालून गेले व तसेच परत आले. ज्या गावात त्यांना सरदार म्हणत, ज्या गावात ते पंच होते, ज्या गावात त्यांना मान मिळे, त्या गावात त्या दिवशी कुत्रेही विचारीत नव्हते! ज्या गावात ते मिरवले, ज्या गावात त्यांच्या शब्दाला मान मिळे तेथेच लहान लहान पोरेही त्या दिवशी त्यांची टर उडवीत होती. जेथे फुले वेचली, तेथेच शेण वेचण्याची आईवर पाळी आली. आजपर्यंत आईने कसेबसे अब्रूने दिवस काढले होते; परंतु देवाला तिची कसून परीक्षा घ्यावयाची होती. मानाची शिखरे व अपमानाच्या खोल दऱ्या, आईला दोन्ही प्रकार देव दाखवू इच्छीत होता. संपूर्ण सुख व संपूर्ण दुःख दोन्ही कळली पाहिजेत. अमावस्या व पौर्णिमा दोन्हींचे दर्शन झाले पाहिजे. या संसाराचे संपूर्ण ज्ञान ती मोठी आई माझ्या छोट्या आईला करून देत होती.

That day Father did not eat. He bathed, performed his worship of God; though he felt ashamed, he went to the temple all the same. He walked with his head bowed, and came back the same way. In the village where he had been called Sardar, where he had been a Panch, where he had received respect — in that very village that day even the dogs paid him no heed! In the village where he had once walked in state, where his word had carried weight, there that very day little children mocked him openly. Where flowers had once been gathered for him, there Mother now found herself reduced to gathering cow-dung. Until that day Mother had somehow managed to live out her days with her honor intact; but God meant to put her to the sternest test. Peaks of honor and the deep valleys of dishonor — both, God wished to show my mother. She had to come to know both perfect happiness and perfect sorrow; she had to behold both the new moon's darkness and the full moon's light. That great Mother was making my small mother know the whole of this worldly life, entire.

दुपारी पोलिस, कारकून, तलाठी, सावकार, साक्षीदार आमच्या घरी आले. घरात स्वयंपाकाची चार भांडी ठेवून बाकी सारी एका खोलीत त्यांनी अडकविली. आईच्या अंगावर दागिने नव्हतेच. मणिमंगळसूत्र काय ते राहिले होते. होते नव्हते, ते त्या खोलीत टाकून त्याला सावकाराने कुलूप ठोकले. सील केले. आम्हांला राहावयाला दोन खोल्या मोठ्या कृपेने देण्यात आल्या.

In the afternoon the police, the clerk, the talathi, the moneylender, and the witnesses came to our house. They left four cooking vessels in the house and shut away everything else in one room. Mother had no jewelry left on her body — only her mangalsutra of beads remained. Whatever little there was, they threw it all into that room, and the moneylender put a lock on it and sealed it. We were graciously permitted, as a great favor, to keep two rooms to live in.

ती मंडळी निघून गेली. आई इतका वेळ उभी होती. केळीप्रमाणे ती थरथर कापत होती. अंगात ताप व आत मनस्ताप! आतून बाहेरून ती भाजून निघत होती. मंडळी निघून जाताच आई धाडकन खाली पडली. "आई आई!" असे करीत पुरुषोत्तम रडू लागला. वडील आईजवळ गेले. तिला अंथरुणावर ठेवण्यात आले. थोड्या वेळाने आईला शुद्ध आली व म्हणाली, "ज्याला भीत होत्ये, ते शेवटी झाले! आता जगणे व मरणे सारखेच आहे!"

Those people left. Mother had been standing all this while, trembling like a plantain stalk. Fever within her body, anguish within her soul! She was being scorched, inside and out. The moment they left, Mother collapsed to the ground with a thud. "Aai! Aai!" Purushottam cried out. Father rushed to her side. They laid her on the bed. After a little while Mother came to her senses and said, "What I was so afraid of has happened at last! Now living and dying are the same to me!"